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JOUR 4270.002 – Ashlyn LeVesque – Blog 5 – November 6, 2016

still-alive

As I write this blog I sit in my new apartment; an apartment that is all for me and my ten pound chihuahua, Pancho, to enjoy for ourselves. For the first time in my life I am living alone, and I have to say it is incredibly satisfying, rewarding, and strengthening. However, the road getting here was a rough, rocky, heartbreaking, unbeaten path. I had to have everything taken from me just to find myself still standing, still striving for the best in life, and blessed to have a roof over my head. I am currently feeling so incredibly grateful for being given the opportunity to take a leap, a chance, and a risk.

Taking risks is something everyone should be willing to do. After all, risks are what push you further, engage your mind, open you to new ideas, and put you so far out of your comfort zone that you realize your boundaries aren’t as tight knit and bounded as you previously thought. You are capable of more. You are strong enough to go beyond what you know. Everyone should be willing to take risks.

However, sometimes risks come despite your own will power, efforts, or understandings of reality. Sometimes you’re forced to take a risk you aren’t prepared for or willing to take. That is the position I am currently in.

My husband decided at the start of October, after being together over five years and married for two years, that he wanted a divorce. He claimed he wasn’t attracted to me anymore (at my prime age of twenty two years old) and told me he wanted out of the marriage. Ironically enough, the truth behind that sweet sentiment he spontaneously laid on me was held in a woman at his work named Ashley with whom he had found comfort and attraction in. Come on now. My name is Ashlyn. Why did she have to be an Ashley?

Regardless of how things ended, I found myself without a husband, a car, a phone, a home, or any of my previously comforting sanity. I literally had no choice but to risk everything and start over new. I did, and it was hard, but I can appreciate it from where I sit now. It helped me grow. It pushed me. It challenged me. It changed me for the better as a person. Yet I never would have done it if I wasn’t forced out of the comfort zone of my marriage.

The point of this blog is not a cry for pity or sympathy. It’s for proof. Proof that even when you aren’t ready to make that great leap of faith in life, you should. Surprisingly enough, you might even find yourself standing on your own two feet, without anyone to lean on.

I’m not sure if you’re struggling in a relationship, a class, a friendship, a family problem, or a job application. There are so many realms in life that force us to take risks we are not ready for. But the beauty of these risks is that when we take them, they put us beyond where we thought ourselves capable of being.

Risks allow us to move past our boundaries, past our comfort, and past our predicted self-image of who we are as people. Risks remind us that we are alive and able to take a chance and see where it puts us. The very worst that can come from life risks, whether personal or professional, is to end up back where you are now: a little bruised, a little wiser, and a little more grateful for the bravery to be a human who isn’t afraid to face the unknown.

Take the risk. It is always worth it.

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